Cuteness Aggression It was recently brought to my attention by the Burritos' trainer, that a paper was presented at the Society of Personality and Social Psychology's annual meeting last week where researchers from Yale University found that many humans suffer from a disorder called "cute aggression", i.e., the extreme desire to squeeze something cute. I feel as though I have such a debilitating case of this disorder that I should be classified as handicapped. There are times when I look at this face, and my aggressive need to squeeze her to death is all consuming. I start to feel sick from physiological overload and then have to leave the room, or risk smothering her to death in a deranged fit of squeezing (I'm getting worked up just thinking about it). The Burritos are really very tolerant of me, considering that I manhandle them like a demented hyperactive child with her favorite stuffed animal on an hourly basis (Dr. McConnell would probably not recommend this behavior). Living with their velvety-sausage bodies of mythological levels of cuteness is effectively an exquisite torture that, at times, forces me to waste hours pressing my face into their seal-pants-suede armpits just so that I may get high off of their maple-velvet. Those of you that have burritos of your own understand this I think. The researchers proposed that "cuteness aggression" is associated with an increased desire to take care of the cute thing. That's obviously ridiculous, as it is clearly derived from an overwhelming desire for the cute animal to be forcefully merged with the core of one's existence so that you may be touching them at all times for the rest of eternity. This research is proof that there should be daily Squeezers Anonymous (SA) meetings for those of us that suffer from this chronic and crippling disorder.